The Laner 11

It may appear that being best friends and lovers conquers all, and at times it can feel that way. But humans have faults: foibles. So who do you turn to when you have a “relationship problem” and your best friend is the one you want to complain about? You can’t go to your best friend under these circumstances.

CHAPTER 2      COMPANIONSHIP / FRIENDSHIP

DELIGHTS 

[1] Best Buddies

[2] Good solid friendship

[3] Components:

1)- honesty

2)- trust

3)- openness

4)- confidant (secrets)

5)- or combination

DISCONTENTS 

[1] Lost trust

[2] Lies/ cheat (main)

[3] Trust takes TIME

[4] Expectations (feel judged)

[5] Failed friendship

[6] Uncertainty (distrust of opp sex)

 

DILEMMAS:

[1] Loss of Trust

[2] Lying (is fear)

1)- inadequacy: This phenomenon is often caused by one of the partners not being able to live up to something. Perhaps a guy boasts of his love-making abilities during the early part of the relationship. However, as more personal information is disclosed, the “front” may begin to break down.

2)- guilt: Guilt is a powerful emotion. I’m not even comfortable writing about it. Not to perpetuate any stereotypes, but I grew up in a Catholic family and attended eight years of Catholic school. I’ve seen guilt.

3)- vulnerability: Because relationships often involve strategy and manipulation, people play relationship games  in order to gain and keep the upper hand and avoid getting hurt.

4)- shame: People are imperfect creatures: period. The longer a relationship lasts, the more likely someone will let someone else down. That’s just the human condition. people often lie to escape feeling embarrassed and shame.

5)- conflict avoidance: Anyone who has ever dated a controlling person knows this one well. I call them the little white lies that save your blood pressure. Sometimes I feel  it’s better to leave-well-enough-alone.

6)- fear of own feelings: Feelings involve emotions; and emotions tend to be tricky. Rationality is no guarantee whenever emotions are involved.

[3] When two people first meet, they have the tendency to present a fake appearance. All in an effort to be liked. Deceptions are from NICE MOTIVES. These nice motives can continue into the relationship.

[4] EXPLOITATION?

1)- How can you know for sure whether or not the person asking for a date is out for personal advantage?

2)- Ego satisfaction. If you are famous, popular, rich or beautiful: how do you know someone is interested in YOU and your best interests, or instead interested in what you can do FOR THEM?

3) Men desire sex. Thus, how can someone tell is a man is pretending LOVE for SEX? Answer… if he is as interested in what is above you neck as well as what is below; it’s a pretty good indicator. Actions speak the loudest.

         

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